24 Hour Particle People

Guess who's timely? Woo-haa.

This is the last excessively large installment of The Bun so soak it up. It goes something like this: visual assaults->japanese wackiness->just plain wackiness->mp3s with reviews (they start semi-literate and quicky devolve from there so be sure to read some of the later ones. Plus superstar guest reviewer, Schertz AKA Schertzer McNasty, CEO of Spicy Preteen Records, shows you how to review some shit big league style while not coming off all ambivalent like yours truly). Then I'm topping this off with the keys to the craziest thing ever concievable and my quasi-philosophical, mostly just really stoned response to it. It was supposed to be my opening rant but it turned into a mega-rant so it's on the backside for this one. Trust me, it's for the best. So now...for openers...meh, I've got nothing...sorry...












SIKE!!!!!!



LAZERZ!!11!!1!! pew pew pew !!!!!! NEEEEEEEEeeeeerr.....POOOOOOOSHH!!!!!









(ed note: wow, i quit. )









Banksy is the dude. He's been killing it for almost two decades over in England with his graffiti and guerilla stencil art. It usually entails a subversive blend of cheeky humor infused with some sort of pertinent sociopolitical gutcheck. Nowadays he's getting major shine. His work has become so infamous over there that his exploits even recieve national media coverage and he's become a minor celebrity, a modern day Robin Hood of sorts (even though his real identity remains shrouded in secrecy). Rightfully so, though. He deserves his recognition. He's a man with a cause and a message, not just, saaay, some worthless trainwreck of a whore that gets thrust into your face because she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about...Paris Hilton. The worst thing to happen to popular culture since forever. She perpetuates obscene ignorance and superficial elitism with every breath she takes, and unfortunately, people eat it up. I'd go so far as to say that she's the posterchild of the whole guilty pleasure media insurgence and at the very core of what is making our culture morally and mentally destitute. The fact that she actually gets validation is a sad indicator of our shortcomings as humans. She is fucking awful and I hate everything she stands for, which is kinda odd when I think about it because the whole thing is that she doesn't "stand" for anything.

Yet, while I've sat here and bitched about her existence for the past couple years, Banksy, a man of action, has decided to take his game to the next level.

This is courtesy of The Independent Online Edition:
Banksy has taken aim at the cult of empty celebrity and its current poster child, Paris Hilton. The secretive artist has smuggled 500 doctored copies of Paris Hilton's debut album into music stores throughout the UK, where they have sold without the shops' knowledge.In place of Ms Hilton's bubble-gum pop songs, the CDs feature Banksy's own rudimentary compositions. On the cover of the doctored CD, Ms Hilton's dress has been digitally repositioned to reveal her bare breasts; on an inside photo, her head has been replaced with that of her dog.


Thank god for this man. I hope this gets people's attention here in the states, too. Here's the pictures of the doctored album cover, a youtube video showing his process along with some of the music he put on the cd (apparently produced by Danger Mouse?), a feature on Banksy from a British culture show, and a set of pictures of his other work.

He is having a secret show for three days here in L.A. starting on the 15th. Details will be on his website. You best believe I'll be there.

(update: so much for being secret...that shit was a zoo! Lot's of cool shit though. I almost bumped into Sasha Baron Cohen...he was rocking a Celebrate America! shirt. Good look. There was also some girl OD'ing in a corner. Not a good look. PS At a crowded ass art show?? Who does that?

Flickr photo set of Paris Hilton cd


How on point is that laundromat audio clip!












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Some music videos I've come across as of late that had me raise an eyebrow or three.



The Klaxons are at the head of what is being dubbed as "new rave" by the media. They are definately reminiscent of the bugged out Madchester era. Plus, this video for Gravity's Rainbow harkens even further back to the earliest of MTV video's (video killed the radio star, hey mickey), only whacked out on some high grade wacky. Original. Directed by Saam.



This video for Carpark North has inexplicably wormed it's way into my head for whatever reason. I dunno what to make of it, it fucks with my equilibrium or something. I think because it's cheesy, and then awkward, and then actually kinda cool all rolled into one. It's like a Tool video, only with little kids instead of nightmare people and other disturbing shit, which actually makes it come off even wierder for me. Eh, couldn't tell you...just thought I'd share.



Chris Cunningham's first music video in like 6 years. It's for some obscure british punk band called the Horrors. Why he chose them I dunno, but it's definately one of his videos. Not particularly impressive, but cool none the less. Oh yeah, and "Sheena" is Samantha Morton, PreCog extroadinaire.



Polysic's. Goofy Japanese group. I think that one kid is from the breakdancing video that everybody and their mother has seen. At least if their a nerds like me. Anyway, fun Stuff. Oh, and it transitions nicely into...


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Even more Japanese antics. Their culture keeps me alive and well.

How does a whole country of people get to be so loopy? Well teaching your kid's to be friends with their shit and piss is a good start. Personally, I'd caution against it because if something happens and there's like, a falling out or something, and you are no longer on speaking terms, then you have to spend the rest of your life dealing with awkward potty time. Also, regarding the live action segment at the end, think about what that red "all done!!!" button must look (and feel) like after about a week....yeah, I bet it's pretty ill.




Please don't kill me...



I think the Japanese are immune to nightmares.

Here's the kicker: TARAKO is the ovaries of a cod fish.



You do have to admit, we have nothing on their TV shows. Fun Fact: The big black guy is a famous kickboxer from the Netherlands.

• AOL Search leak. I'll update this later, suffice to say it's insanely hilarious/really scary. Look at Part 1 first, it's the best. People are shitball loco in the head out of there gourd crazy when they think no one's watching. It makes me think every bad thought possible has already been absorbed by the internet. Stop being crazy, people. It just makes things worse.
  

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Aight, enough funny business. This is some real deal actual factual. Listen. Music is great right now. It's flourishing. People just get it. It's making the world a better place. Hell yeah.There's all these great new bands coming out of the woodwork and to top it off, 5 of my favorite acts just released, (or are about to release) ba-ba-ba-brilliant new material. Bonobo, Quantic, Squarepusher, J Dilla(RIP), and Junior Boys all have new albums and I am totally digging each one of them.

Bonobo-Nightlite feat. Bajka

Bonobo (aka Simon Green), in my opinion, is the quintessential downtempo artist. His compositions are lush, beautiful, relaxing, haunting, engrossing, uplifting, reflective etc. etc. etc. Most of all, he's remarkably consistent. You can tell he doesn't half ass anything. So album 3 rolls out and I look at my crossed fingers like "what the hey now", as if this guy has ever done me wrong. But then I hear tale that almost half the album is featuring a female vocalist known as Bajka. Uh oh. Call me sexist or whatever, but downtempo and female vocals are a very tricky mix. Many a great track has been ruined by cheesy, over the top songstress types (certain songs off Nightmares on Wax's album Mind Elevation come to mind, off the top of my head). It's the whole sultry but excessive house diva thing that usually buries it. When done right, it's a beautiful thing...obviously there's Portishead... and Martina Topley-Bird, Mia Doi Todd, and Alice Russell seem to sound amazing way more often then not, but these are definately the exception. Most of the time, the tasteful balance just isn't there, and when the music is unexceptional as well, you get some of the most painfully generic shit there is. My bones literally ache everytime a coffeshop throws on Chilled Out Ibiza Vol. 14 and some douche thinks to himself, "ooh, is this Zero 7?".

But I digress. On paper, Days to Come may look like the formula for Thievery Corporation-lite (languid beats meet an exotic chauntese who suggests we all get along) but Green, always on point with the quality control, utilizes Bajka's voice with an amazing amount of restraint and class, and she ends up complimenting the album perfectly. Her voice is definately unique. She has this mysterious, almost hypnotic quality that threads its way in and out of the music, providing a seamless counterpoint to Bonobo's otherworldy majesty. The instrumental tracks are incredible, once again displaying Green's innate ability to make epic beauty sound effortless. Recurring and Ketto are on par with the best tracks off Dial M for Monkey, which is definately saying something. The album is delivered with the refined sensibility of a man who has mastered his sound while still managing to infuse it with a marked concern stemming from world politics.

Quantic-Absence Heard Presence Felt


Quantic is the man too. He's kind of got a kindred spirit thing going on with Bonobo (they were labelmates on Tru Thought back in the day) but his stuff seems a little more directly influenced by hip hop, deep funk and South American styles. His new album, Announcement to Answer, is great. The opener, Absence Heard Presence Felt, sounds like old school DJ Krush as realized on a bright, sunny day. Be sure to check for his faster, funkier songs too, his uptempo game is among the best of it's kind.

Squarepusher-Bubble Life

Tom Jenkinson=Mad Genius. That's the best way I could describe his musical offerings. To me, a very sizable portion of his back catalogue is made up of impenetrable insanity. He has tons of hyper-sequenced and thoroughly punishing tracks that, sadly, do nothing for my meager little head. But it seems at least once each album, he'll tone it down slightly, just enough to let you know that he has completely mastered music as far as mere mortals can conceive it. As a result, he's humored us over the years with masterworks like Iambic 5 Poetry, Squarepusher Theme, Come on My Selector, and Tommib, to name a few.

Yet as shocking as it may be, his new album, Hello Everything, could almost be described as downright accessible. Maybe even upbeat...well, y'know relatively that is...it's still Squarepusher.

The different styles and extremes he's unleashed over the years are all accounted for, from the Drill n Bass Atari Meltdown that was Big Loada, to the claustrophobic free jazz of Music Is Rotted One Note, but they are presented in a surprisingly approachable manner. The example provided, Bubble Life, opens up in a room full of spacious clickery and boiling chemical trickery, sounding like something you might here coming out of Willy Wonka's basement at night. Gene Wilder Version, that new shit doesn't really count. Sorry, but yeah. However, the initial wierd is quickly offset by subtle percussion and some of Squarepusher's inimitable double bass lines (the super complicated yet warm and funky ones). It ends up having this authentic 70's studio session vibe, yet it's thoroughly tripped out and unmistakably modern. The majority of the album follows suit, allowing the Squarepusher sound to be poked and proded without all the abrasiveness of it's past incarnations. Even his obligatory 303 noodlings and amen workouts sound surprisingly inviting and organic, acting mostly as the subtle framework for bells and warbles to dangle from. When viewed as a whole, I feel it's his most enjoyable album to date. Aside from one midalbum dronescape and a couple of tense moments that sound like an alternate score to Clockwork Orange, it deftly toes the line between pleasant and intricate, live and electronic, nostalgic and modern. It's really only in the last 2 or 3 songs that Jenkinson feels the need to re-inform you that he is still way crazier than you'll ever be...or perhaps just light years beyond our comprehension.

Junior Boys-High Come Down

I'm a preface this whole section as SYNTHPOP MANIA. With words ( <- those words), that is, because I ain't to handy in the ways of formatting and presentation. Sorry, but I'll probably rock the arts and crafts dropout style to the day I die. Some elbow macaroni, some sparkles, and a lot of glue on a paper plate. Baam. Done.

So, the Junior Boys first album, Last Exit, was the first thing I can remember hearing that made me really dig the 80's pop revival in a truely legitimate kind of way. A few years ago, I don't think I could differentiate between what I considered enjoyable about the retro aesthetic in a kitschy kind of way versus what was actually enjoyable in a genuine way(damn you, post-ironic culture!). Hell, I don't think I ever consciously tried. Pretty much everything that is actually from the 80's is pretty much dope in it's own compartmentalized way. Even the shit that sucks is kind of like, "meh, well that's pretty shitty, but hey, it was the 80's, give it a break". It seems like it was hard to be hyper critical about anything at the time, what with people being all stoked all the time and all, so it's hard for me to judge it objectively using the current standard. Even when I hear a song I've never heard before from the 80's, I feel like I judge it using some special criteria, at least more so than any other generation of music.

Anyhow, so my first real whiff of this concentrated re-inventing of the ME generation was the whole electroclash thing, but what I heard and saw was too smarmy and fashionista'd out for my liking. But, about two years ago, I heard the Junior Boys and got this funny feeling like, wow, there's no tongues, there's no cheeks, they are just picking up where New Order and Depeche Mode left off and they're carrying that torch forward. So I feel this lends itself to a more direct kind of scrutiny from my generation, based on a certain level of awareness regarding the current cultural climate.

Junior Boys-Fm

I dropped the homey a line to get his opinion on a few of these new school synth jams, and instead of responding with some sort of "yeah they're cool or whatever, listen I actually have a real job sooo..." deal, he hit me off with some bonafide opinionation. Here's what the magnanimous Schertz AKA $chertzer Maximillionz, had to say about FM.

"Shit is on that whispers in the pink mist synth tip. Down with the driving intro-synth, sweet harmonies, and angelic-hums. Plus when that bridge hits at 3:53, it’s like I should be jumping to and from trampoline clouds, with this jamming on my super puff, 80’s headphones... Pure Glitter World jamz"

You heard it hear first...we likes our sparklemotion raw as fuck.

The new album,So This Is Goodbye, is as good if not better than Last Exit. It's got some really undeniable instrumentation, bordering on pure synthetic bliss. Yet, it still hit's me with this John Hughes movie feeling that makes all these guilty pleasure bells go off in my head. It's definately over the top, especially when Jeremy Greenspan's voice goes so far into ooey gooey overdrive that you feel naked, but it's still real solid. Yes, when I hear Greenspan sing a tiny voice inside me want's to go "dude, this shit sounds pretty gay". But something about the music manages to override my machismo. The funny thing is, Greenspan's voice reminds me a lot of the dude from Death Cab for Cutie, and when I hear him, a BIG voice inside me goes "DUDE, THIS SHIT SOUNDS PRETTY GAY". So I think the deciding factor for the double standard is that this type of gushy crooning really just sounds right in a bed of warm, glistening synths.

morgan geist-most of all(feat. Jeremy Greenspan)

Oh yeah, and there's this Morgan Geist single with Greenspan that would have fit perfectly on the album. You can tell people have finally got the 80's new wave aesthetic down pat. When you mix in that modern day sheen and, in this case, a subtle strand of that electrohouse sound, you are definately doing the damn thing.

Schertz chimes in:
Yeah, definitely heard this before. Greenspan takes his supple crooner vocals to the next level with this one. But Morgan holds it down as usual. A very chill 6+ mins. of synth stylings. And like you said, super clean.


Yep. On point like digital mousse. I'd say for me, the sound is entrenched in my brain from childhood, so the questionable lyrical stuff gets the right of way for whatever reason. I'm sure some socialogy type could go all modern theorist and write a paper on the interplay of sentimentality with the current trajectory of irony and how this all ties in to the cyclical nature of trends, but it sure as hell isn't gonna be me.

Alls I know is if you keep your synths clean and your shit catchy, you can go sap factory on me anyday.

Morgan Geist,Junior Boys, and guys like Cut Copy or Chromeo are all doing big things.

Midnight Juggernauts-45 and Rising

Speaking of Cut Copy, they signed these guys to their Cutters label. Imagine all the stuff we just talked about combined with rock, metal, and Daft Punk,who've obviously been down with that ol real shit since day one, and whose sound is influencing just about everybody right now. I think the Daft Punk show at Coachella was so epic that it shorted some circuitry and rewired the brains of everyone in attendance...The world is definately feeling the ripple effect. Good shit, Australia, keep it up.

(PS Croc Hunter RIP, he was the realest of the real).

Department of Eagles-Sailing by Night

Ok, this isn't synthy but I'm on a roll with the softer shit now so we might as well slip this in because it's real good. Department of Eagles' first album from a few years ago, Whitey on the Moon, was all over the place. Like ALL over the place. No two songs really sounded the same, one would be instrumental moody downtempo, one would be all drum machine-y, one sounded like some shit you would sing at Ye Olde Pub. I don't know, the best I explanation I can come up with would be some bizarro Beta Band amalgamation (back when they were tight, that is). Definately hit and miss, but when it hit, it was some original shit. Sailing by Night, the standout for me, starts off with some breezy guitar and chugging muted percussion, but the vocals end up being all wistful, setting the stage for some proper introspective seagazing. Everything seems laid out properly for a good song, but just when you think it's about to end, a kazoo pops up, the drum machine starts getting rickety, these orchestral strings coming rolling through, and things build to a frenzy. Then to top it off, this gnarly ornate Nintendo melody and dogpiles the whole thing. Real dope.

Department of Eagles-Deadly Disclosure

This one is from their new album, untitled and unscheduled as of yet, but I'm stoked. It's dreary too, in an awesome kind of way, sounding a little like a cross between Bob Dylan and Calexico. When the choral backing comes in, all I can think about are those haunting vocals from old Disney movies. Like, say, that one part in Alice in Wonderland where she's lost in the woods, balling her eyes out and singing "soooomedayyyyyy" and then the ghostly choir responds "sooooomedaaaaayyyyy" while the little duck horns and eyeglass birds and other wierd critters are getting all choked up. That shit always got me. So does this.

James Figurine-55566688833

OK back to synths. Just to flesh things out a little more and let you know where I stand, this is when things start getting convoluted for me. It doesn't evoke the retro override thing and the vocals are shy and subdued so we're getting into rough seas. When Jimmy Tamborello starts singing, at first I got a "hey, speak up there, ya pussy" crotchety grampa kinda feeling, but then the chorus comes in with that high pitched squigglefest, and suddenly I'm like...aw crap, who am I kidding, I like this too. And then I deciphered the lyrics and realized what the song title meant I was like, "goddamnit...that shit was pretty clever...and timely...dude just wants to snuggle or something...fuck, now what?"

Schertz seems less wary of this songs ability to turn people hugga-bear homo at a moment's notice:
Texting be on that get down tip now. Werd. For some reason I’m really feeling this song. That first thirty seconds got me. First impressions are a bitch a guess. But in this case it really didn’t turn out to be such a bitch for Figurine and Schertzdog. Don’t really know why. All introverted and shit, the beat even sounds like it’s got some miniature Japanese gnomes twirling happy swizzle sticks around in the air like nobodies business. And the distorted Mario Inc. drum beat is pretty power-up shit. By far my favorite out of all four and I don’t really know why… just cuz. Sucks that text-typing’s giving this guy so many problems. Maybe he should just switch back to a pager?

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone-Young Shields

Shit, shit, shit. This is troublesome. Casiotone for the Painfully Alone. Yes, thats the name of this guy's one man band. Yes, the music is even more emotronic than the name implies. Yes, this guy sounds like the biggest snivelling bitch ever (I didn't wanna play football, Dad! I DIDN'T WANNA!!!!!) And yet, this one song managed to snag me somehow.

Schertztown breaks it down to a fucking tee on this one:
Suicidal-dopamine-deprived-post-three-day-coke-binge-trust-fund-closet homo from Chelsea, who's life is spiraling out of control and the ‘rents “just don‘t understand.” I have a feeling if you gave Cas, say, ten years to have a few more of those ‘significant life experiences’ adults are always talking about, this guy would be able to re-write some pretty on point, mature lyrics to match the level the rest of this song is on. That said, the killer wailing guitar ending is top of pops. And the beat on this is striking a chord with me… or shall I say beating my drum. Maybe just cause I keep listening to it over and over. This guys whining chorus just pisses me off for some reason.


Woah, how'd you do an ellipse without using periods? Fancy typin' ass Schertzer. What a guy.

Man, so yeah, the chorus, the chorus. It makes me want to sock the shit out of dude in the face really hard with my fists, and on top of that, his voice also reeks of some hardcore sulking in the corner. I start getting fidgety when you hit me too hard with that boo hoo kind of mope. But some of the other lyrics ain't half bad and I'll be damned if these synths aren't just synthing it up real fucking hard. So yeah. That's why I'm listening to this again. It's just these catchy electronics getting the best of me. Right guys? Haha. R-Right?

So...conflicted...gasp...and vulnerable...must...return back...to the safety...cough...and comfort of my... fortress of irony.

Captain Ahab-Girls Gone Wild

Captain Ahab-I Can't Wait for Summer

Phew. That was close. Ah, sweet irony. So secure...like emotional immunity. Nothing can affect me here...

Extending the fortress metaphor over to these guys just a little bit so as to create a nice little segue (and to be lame)...yeah, with the two tunes above, these Captain Ahab dudes have constructed some impregnable shit. I'm talking like, Tower of Babel-sized fortress, only the walls are made of titanium and it's surrounded by a moat of purest sarcasm. Which I guess would mean that the walls would be actually be fashioned from locks of tightly wound, jet black hair, culled from a whole months worth of Myspace haircuts...and then the moat would be filled with Pegasus Tears??? Yeah...anyway, these guyses album is titled After The Rain, My Heart Still Dreams. The cover art has fairies and unicorns and shit. Yeah, it's like that. Some Hollywood scenester style shit...y'know, where everyday is opposite day? Birthplace of the ironic moustache?(Hey, look at my gay ass moustache, I look creepy, remember when people used to do this?, how lame were they?, I'm cool because I obviously acknowledge how gay this shit is. That's why I took a lot of time and effort to grow it. Yeah. Why do my parents hate me?).

That's great fellas. Real good. Still, the only way I'll buy your "Life is a joke 100% of the time" shtick is if you yourself actually pull off some airtight, super scathing shit like these two songs. Then you're cleared for whatever. Headbands all day. Short shorts. Listening to the Misshapes awesome dj sets. Knock yourself out. Otherwise, fuck you. You are overdoing it and giving the 9 to 5 smartass's a bad name. Stick to the standard 80% sarcasm/20% "I mean what I say" ratio like the rest of us. It'll give you some breathing room and you won't hate yourself as much in a few years.

Anyhow...Girls Gone Wild, biggest anthem trance hit ever. So brilliant. It's basically the epitome of Eurotrash supercheese, but the kicker is the tune is so well made and really fucking jamtastic that it will fuck your shit up from here to infinity. plus a million. to juan.

I took one listen and all of the sudden I'm thinking being down in Cabo...beefcaked out...tanning saloned up......drinking since 10AM...shirt long gone...neck bursting at the seams...hair gel with a hold factor of 11...500 dollar chick sunglasses...on the stage doing that fist pump shit...my dick all rubbing up against the insides of my boardshorts after I've slathered it in cocoa butter...

yeah, that could actually be the best thing ever.

And then midway through, when they ramp the vocoder up an octave, you could probably drop a nuke on my head and I would be losing my shit so hard that the Fuck Yeah Factor would shield me from the blast. I'd be all alone, surrounded by complete and utter devastation, with only these small little clumps of resilient std-causing bacteria serving as placeholders of where people stood...hostless puddles of virulent disease speckled across the charred blackness...a solemn reminder of the meatmarket that once was...

Then I'd dance till the sun comes up, replaying the song in my head while I chew the inside of my mouth clean off.

And I Can't Wait For Summer perfectly mocks the vocal stylings of all the whiny bitch rock that has dominated MTV since Carson Daly came into power. It pretty explicitly breaks down all that waah waah teen angst shit that they peddle. The funniest part is that MTV has driven youth culture so far into the ground that this song isn't even that big of a stretch anymore. Things are looking pretty horrible over there too. I can't believe how hard they pander to the stupidest of stupid shit now. They are grooming this upcoming generation to be the most obnoxious little shitfucks. Not even just the music, Laguna Beach, Sweet 16, I Wanna Be Cool Like You or whatever that shit's called. FUCK that. Seriously. Get Adam Curry or Riki Rachtman or Martha Quinn or hell, Bill Bellamy back in there and fix this fucking mess.

Friends With You-OTTO vs Juice
Ok, ok, got myself worked up there...tirade's over...time to cleanse. Friends With You are a toy company specializing in some sacchrine sweet overdrive bizness, only real bugged out and creative. I found this tune on their myspace and it kind of sums up their whole vibe. If I was trapped inside a Gameboy (original B&W one), living in Hello Kitty world, this would be the town anthem. I'd wake up, smile, walk outside, and then smile and wave at Kerokerokeropi all day while we alternate between two different poses in unison. Y'know to give the illusion of animation...I hope you follow me on that...hmmm, basically, the best post-lobotomy theme song I've ever heard. Also click on their website for a nice 4-bit Britney Spears rendition.





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So I've been looking at other blogs and I'm realizing I'm going about this all wrong...diatribes and big posts aren't the way to go...apparently blurbs and updates, updates, updates are the name of the game... Oh well, fuck that. I'm definately too lazy to get super gung ho about this on the daily...I just don't have the drive to lay everything out all proper like.
...at least, not like this guy...

Ulillillia

This is probably the most utterly fascinating, insanely ridiculous site I've ever seen...like actually, literally, this is it...I don't think it can be topped in terms of scope anytime soon. Hang with me a sec so I can help you get your barrings.

Fuck using myspace to quell your voyeuristic urges...this guy's site is probably bigger than that whole mess anyway...and it's strictly about him. I'm talking every single detail of this kid's existence laid out in convenient FAQ form.

Yeah, whatever right? Well, the more you read, the deeper you go, the more you'll understand. I have literally been reading this for an hour with my jaw on the ground and I've barely scratched the surface. Here's some excerpts:

"In my mind game, I sometimes, but rarely, have cases where I can choose to send the two-tailed fox from some high cliff into regular water, blue water, mud, or lava (sometimes another one is involved). I had to battle the fox to get it to go off the cliff. Sometimes it'd end up in the blue water and 30 seconds after touch it (even if it gets out), it dies."

Wait...mind game??

Yes, mind game...

"a futuristic-like video game I play in my mind often. There are many strange things featured in my mind game that I do almost daily in some way. These are as follows:

1. Supernatural abilities used in real-world type situations, like jumping off of a balloon and bouncing to a stop around supersonic speeds as shown in the animated GIF above. The abilities featured are the 90-foot jumps (officially, it's 91 2/3 after working out the distance-acceleration formula), the flash attack (one of my favorites), and the bounce**C03-001**.
2. Intense speeds which allow me to cruise anywhere in small amounts of time. No machines required. Though, making tough turns on a raceway can be difficult.
3. Fully customizable physics where I can change the force of gravity from 21.9 mph per second to 20 or 80 mph per second. I can constantly speed up forever while falling and when I land from intense speeds, a huge shockwave is emitted, or I may just bounce up at half the speed and weaken the effects of the shockwave.
4. Run without touching the ground and without using machines at speeds exceeding well past the speed of sound (for horizontal movement, I've reached about mach 2.5 or about 1800 mph).
5. Extremely large expanse of menus and controls. Though the menus are almost never used, except to check some stats and to view the big map. "

So, how does one develop a mind game? Apparently from video game addiction, of which he attributes as the source of many of the mental problems he has today...

"During the days of the Nintendo, I was playing my games for ten hours per day on weekends and 4 to 6 hours per day on school days. This caused problems with school. While in school, I was often jumping like crazy (as if jumping on one of those turtles in Mario) almost everywhere I went where walking was involved. Some well-recalled events are these (memory jogged from running events in my mind game):

* There was a "turtle" in the basement area of my elementary school. The turtle went all over the place. I had to be careful to avoid it, unless, of course, I "hopped" on it. Source: Mario. Time period: only in my elementary school (up to grade 6).
* At lunch time at my elementary school, the red ketchup bottles and yellow mustard bottles were considered as "lava". Source: Metroid. Time period: 2nd (or 3rd) to 6th grade.
* Colored tiles that were odd as well as lines, and even shadows (rare) were "enemies" that I had to bop (jumping on it to get rid of it) to disable it. Source: Mario. Time period: 3rd grade to about 8th grade (still present today, but no where near as bad - only used for entertainment while waiting for something).
* Sunlit areas were "lava". Source: Metroid. Time period: 2nd or 3rd grades only (not sure which).
* If you touched any water from a pool or outside, you'd die because the water was "blue". Source: many games in which water, being blue in them, took your player's life away. Time frame: 2nd or 3rd grade until July 21, 1997 around 10:00 AM (yes, I'm that certain on the time).
* The red stage in the elementary school's basement was considered as lava. Source: Metroid. Time period: 2nd (or 3rd) to 6th grade.

These pertain to just the Nintendo alone."

Here's another snippet regarding his favorite song that should help you round out your understanding of this young man.

"Topping my list, as it has been for 11 years (since mid-1994) is Out Where the Lake Is (988.3 compatibility, twice as good than the next highest). My calculations show that I've listened to this song anywhere from 900,000 to 1,200,000 times (each loop is 63.5 seconds long at the average 76% true speed). Next up is Desert Zone (around 984 compatibility) which has anywhere from 300,000 to 600,000 plays. These are the two most listened to songs. This isn't a joke either. If you check my blog, for example, you can see that, when I get a new song, it'll often be played for several thousand times before I get bored of it and switch. See the "music" section for more details on this. Both of these songs are from "Bubsy in: Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind" (levels 10 and 7 (7 after the train)). In general, however, songs that are purely instrumental are the only types of songs I truly enjoy. The most- liked song that has lyrics is "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" - the oldies version in particular (at 932 compatibility, about 1/30 as good as my top favorite, or 56 times better than neutral, still very considerable)."



One last thing before I set you lose...A quick click over to the Section 4, Major Fears reveals even more "no fucking way" moments as 4.2.1's fear of Two six-letter p-words...

"I no longer write, speak, or read the word aloud. I can, however, only very indirectly mention it (more directly through a bunch of clues).

The two "bad" words are:
1. A single human. Has the same beginning sound of "purse", the thing females carry around often. (used in a common phrase: "meet in ______")
2. Multiple humans as a group. Has the same ending syllable (for the sound) as "apple" and the same beginning sound as "P" as said as a letter. (Fill in the blank: "A stadium holds about 50,000 ______.")"




Wow. Wow. Wow. Brains are a fucking crazy ass thing, sometimes it takes a slightly tweaked one just to reinform you how incredibly complex merely existing is. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that (even though he doesn't explicitly say it, I don't think) this kid has the gnarliest case of OCD ever, coupled with Asperger's Syndrome (Yay, BA in psych, you paid off!), but that's only using our current understanding of psychology and it's limited diagnosistic criteria. Regardless, his website is the most in depth self purported case study you'll ever find.

I'm not really trying to come off as exploitative here. I find this to be truly fascinating, especially when viewed in the context of how we, as a society, are basically evolving with machines. This guy is obviously very, very intelligent, but his brain seems to works in such a way that his obsessions confine his thought process to rigid sets of instructions or rules that dictate his mental activity and behavior. And it also seems like the majority of these rules are the same rules that we apply to organize, manage, create content on computers. Being as the brain is so malleable when we are young, it's basically as if his mind has grafted the rules governing video games/computers onto his own mind. In a sense, it seems as though he is part computer because he has been structured like one due to the inflexible nature of his brain and how he consciously and unconsciously has integrated the sensory input from his environment. His ridiculous math abiliies and attention to numerical details only reinforce that impression, in my mind (maybe his mind game is partly the result of his superior ability to multitask with numbers, thus generating the image he sees by actually crunching numbers in a semi-conscious manner?!?)...regardless, it seems as though it would just take a certain type of person to enable something like this at this point in time. Someone with an abnormal biological propensity towards obsessive behavior to be born into an environment rife with technology. Yet, because of the emotional component, probably the biggest and most complicated factors that differentiate how we process information vs a real computer, it's almost like he's a cyborg, albeit a completely organic one...that is, the thought processes he executes are so confined that they are like code running on organic circuitry. And a brain is a computer in the loose sense, a gigantic hub of data processing, the most complicated singular structure in the known universe actually (I think I read somewhere that one brain is still more complicated then all the connections and wiring involved with the entire telecommunication industry on the planet, but don't quote me on that). It's that unfathomable complexity that allows for our tremendous variability in action and feeling. It enables us to effortlessly percieve existence with a relatively free-flowing simplicity, such that we are only beginning to understand the millions of processes and events that are occuring in our bodies at all times. We are only privy to the end result of all these occurences withen our bodies, and that is what we utilize to structure our internal world and how we react to the environment.

Now, I am over extending the "cyborg" thing for argument sake, but it makes you think, huh? Especially given the telescoping nature of technology and evolution as well? With Myspace and YouTube and everything, it's safe to say we've reached a tipping point, at least with youth culture, as to how we percieve integrating technology into our lives. I mean, the internet is no longer just for nerds. It is being widely utilized by a much wider and more socially adept demographic,. Kids being born now will find all these things second nature because they will be exposed to it during that fertile time in their lives when their brains possess a great deal of plasticity, and because of the ease of which they use and understand technology, they will be able to perpetuate more innovation which will allow for more technology. All signs indicate that this feedback loop will just get tighter and tighter when measured against time. Even so, we are probably hundreds of years away from developing real AI with emotional components and everything, but a human adapting the logistical components of a computer through conditioning? Apparently it seems that's not that far off. It certainly seems the more feasible outcome, given that the innate ability of the brain far surpasses our current computer technology. Studies have shown nature and nurture to be basically inseperable in real world situations regarding mental health. Logic kind of dictates that to be impossible, given the amount that biology influences the environment that in turn influences our biology.
But as a society, we are most definately contributing a lot more weight to the nurture side of things by coating our worlds with gadgets, enabling behavior like that of our friend at Ulillillia. We are already in the initial stages of seeing microchips and electronic devices incorporated into our bodies. We've already got massive online games like World Of Warcraft where a number of people spend the majority of their waking life. All of this in the past 20 years or so. It's not slowing down either. If nothing else, you gotta see this kid's website as truly being a testament to the power of the internet, and society's amazingly complicated and eerily inextricable relationship with machines.

When I get old, shit is gonna be absolutely nuts.



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