Cumberbuzz-worthy

I think I might have mentioned something about music and it being rather important to me and my well-being and all, so allow me to elaborate on this a little bit...with my first attempt at doing some reviews!

Wait, come back! There's mp3s too!

Ok, because I'm not doing this for any sort of money or prestige or any sort of anything, I think there might actually be some sort of correlation between the words I type, the audio referenced, and the personal opinion said audio elicits.

So, for instance, that gnarly ass bassline, y'know the one that you said sounded like being flogged by tightly wound magnetic tendrils that could only result from the breakneck gyre of a neutron star, in a sense conjuring waves of sound so urgently volatile, so desperately intranssient, they come alarmingly close to buckling under the gravity of their own existence...nay all existence...

Fin.

Yeah, so instead of all that yip yap, that very same bassline might sound "thick" or maybe just plain "gnarly".

Stilllllll, I might not object to having my speakers do something mildly Pitchfork-ian, like, perhaps, billowing out clouds of swamp gas, should that prove fitting. Or maybe I'll just try to get them to emit a faint smell of burning plastic at some point. Y'know, just for fun (figuratively speaking).

Right? Right. Ok, Let's shed some verbage...



Spank Rock-YoYoYoYoYo

After a slew of hot singles and a flurry of hype pegging this mc/producer combo as the proverbial "next big thing" (at least for those who are constantly scurrying about, desperately looking for the "next big thing"), Spank Rock's heavily pre-sweated debut, YoYoYoYoYo (that's 5 yo's, yo...), is finally seeing the light of day. The sound is, as devined, something new and fresh, a fusion of pretty much every bass heavy genre to date. The root is in their hometown Baltimore's unique brand of club music (which is finally getting put on blast at an international level), but it's seasoned with various degrees of hip-hop, techno, IDM, miami bass, crunk, and grime. Rounding out the whole sonic stew is a heavy reliance on retro synth sounds, 8-bit noodling, and, of course, Cool Disco MC Spank Rock's raw, sex-laden rhymes. Think 2 Live Crew, strip-club styled word play, only delivered with that "I'm so clever" hipster irony and you're about half way there. The whole resulting vibe is basically, "fuck grinding on the dance floor, whip out your shit and go at it" but kind of tongue-in-cheek and with a bunch of fwoomps and bloops.

Backyard Betty

So, will shit ever be the same or is it all ass whomps and space invader bass assaults from here on out? Well, the singles were fire, that's fer sure. "Backyard Betty" had that sonic death ray bass (oops am I blowing it? well, fuck you, that's what it sounds like) and some Zack Morris cellphone action that hits real hard. Rick Rubin also came correct with the conceptual steez, giving a self-aware shout out to flipping the script while freaking a Commodore 64. It has proven to be a nice backing track for the thinking man to swing his dick around to thus far.

Unfortunately, the rest of the album doesn't carry that same consistency. A couple songs sound pretty damn corny and forced (ICM and Coke and Wet come to mind), both in terms of rhymes and production. Once the seed of doubt is planted, a lot of that cocksure posturing becomes kinda transparent and harder to swallow. Then I found out dude was all Kwelied out not but a few years prior. I guess he jumped ship once cocaine and synthesizers started catching on again. Phew, that could've been a bad look.

Ok, so hipsterism haterade aside, I am really loving the album exclusive, Bump, a kind of Tone Loc/Salt N Pepa throwdown with Ghettotech vocal chops that straight erupts as soon as dirty-white-girl affliate Amanda Blank steps up and slays the track. Her double-time flow is ridiculous and I'm left thoroughly convinced that her pussy is immaculate.

Bump

So, yes, this is a little lackluster considering what came first (Put that Pussy on Me is sorely absent), but I had really high expectations for it and it's still very tight for the most part. I doubt it will ever make it's way from the dancefloors of the cooler than thou set to Power 106 or Hot 97, but if it did, I would love the irony of it. I mean, shit could get all topsy-turvy, y'know? Maybe as a backlash, "not ironic" would be the new "ironic"? or was that yesterday? Who the fuck knows anymore. Alls I know is that the good stuff on here makes me want to shake my shit and that's just fine by me.



Gnarls Barkley-St. Elsewhere

Alright, so if Spank Rock's debut rolled in on a wave of hype, then Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo's collaborative effort, Gnarls Barkley, is riding a tsunami of hearsay based on the strength of their lead single, Crazy. If you haven't heard it already, then congratulations, you somehow managed to circumvent the internet media blitzkrieg. You obviously haven't succumb to myspace and don't get 30 bulletins a day about them. I'm so proud of you(seriously). But I digress. Crazy is straight undeniable. You've got the full blown cinematic strings, the hallowed hymnal backing, and Cee-lo Green singing his heart out like he never has before. He has finally gone full blown Soul Machine on this track, flaunting his full vocal range and delivering some of the most hauntingly beautiful lyrics I have heard in a good while. I think it's a wonderful thing when something like this, so seemingly left-field and inaccessible, can have so much emotional resonance with a large group of people. If my worldly musings were a bit more grandiose, I might even go so far as to say that the song's success is an example of one of those rare instances that shed light on an unspoken universal understanding, in this case people's persistent feelings regarding alienation and acceptance, and by doing so, weaves threads through our common humanity and collective unconcious, bringing the whole idea full circle. But I'd probably prefer to keep it simple and just say this song is the fucking jimmy jam. Regardless, this will definately go down as one of my top 5 singles of this year. Also, check the video...an awesome ride through a black and white kaliedascope of morphing Rorshach images that fit perfectly with the song.



And then there's the rest of the album. Yeaah...

Storm's Coming

Well, Dangermouse is all over the sonic map, throwing in folk, psych rock, gospel, funk, delta blues, orchestral arrangements, anything and everything. Yet, as enticing as this sounds, most of the time it falls flat. Boogie Monster is Iron Butterfly and Bill Withers doing the monster mash. Gone Daddy Gone is a Violent Femme's cover that sounds exactly like the original, only shittier. Storm Coming is an over the top electro pump up jam that sounds straight out of some anime right before everything gets all hectic...Like, it starts with Dragon Ball Cee-lo strapping on his gloves and tightening his bandana, looking all determined, and ends with him charging full speed ahead to save the world, with his mouth wide open and his fist in the air and some pokeballs and lightning and those motion lines and shit. Only not that cool. And then there's Transformer...::sigh:: look, I don't even know what the fuck is going on with this one...seriously. Danger Mouse goes poor man Timbaland with a Saturday morning cartoon sample and Cee-lo goes for reals crazy with some bugged out rain dance chant and some unnecessary chipmunk vocal tomfoolery. All these beg the question, why, why, why, and why? Instead of being experimental, these tracks just feel like an exercise in seeing how much shit you can throw at a song and still make it stick. Yet, I still get the feeling people will eat it up because they like Crazy so much they'll be blinded by how cool they think they are for being down with Gnarles. Seriously, you should have seen the swarm of people gathered to see them at Coachella. That's what I call good marketing.

Last Time

Wait, ok, back-up, I don't HATE the album. Necromancer is way off the wall with it's industrial techno inflections, spooky church organ, and Transylvanian hair metal guitar solos...not to mention the fact that the lyrics are about Count Cee-lo getting all lecherous on some recently deceased dime piece. This one's also mad cooky yet it somehow works for me in terms of them doing a nice job of executing a nutty idea properly. And On-line is some suave pimp shit. Again, once the lyrics sink in, you kind of realize it's the anthem for some 40 year old pedophile's entire existence, but if you can get around that, it's a good (albeit short) tune to vibe too. St. Elsewhere embodies the essence of the album's whole introspective oddball stance nicely with a healthy dose of meloncholy capped off with a nice lilting guitar refrain and a wispy little vocal sample. However, my vote for second best song on the album (by a long shot) has to go to the closer, Last Time. This one has Cee-Lo getting all debonair and lacing an uptempo, Daft Punk influenced beat with some Sinatra styled flavor. It's probably the most straight forward track on the album but Cee-Lo's vocals make it next level material. After hearing this, I would not object to having big Cee-lo sweep me off my feet while I nuzzle my face in his tattooes and just swoon all over the place. Yeah...

So all and all, Crazy can not be touched, and Last Time is real dope, but the rest of the album is as hit or miss as anything I've ever heard. Also, the whole industry puppeteering thing is mad apparent. Not to say that that snub nose blasting out a heart isn't a sick design or that the press photos aren't amusing, but the bells and whistles overkill approach makes the record label presence looming behind the project almost overshadow the music.

Oh yeah, and Danger Mouse, I love your shit and have been a fan since day one (Ghetto Pop Life was amazing) but you need to step up your drum game. What is up with that cheesy stuttering snare shit? Why is that shit so choppy and abrasive? What's up with the low-end? Why does most of this sound like it was mixed in a dumptruck? I can't help but feel that if this was mixed better I would've loved it. Anyhow, that shit was passable on The Grey Album but dude, you're a "super producer" now, fix that shit!



Ghostface Killah- Fishscale Ok, well the words already out on this, and and I'm burning out here, so I'll just give you a few of my thoughts on this. Ghost keeps it real. The whole Wu-dynasty is over and he's the last man standing. Why? Because they got him on here geeking out, thinking that the Starship Enterprise is knocking on his door because he is coked out of his mind. They got him bragging about his fake limbs, calling out shady barbers, and going for a swim to an underwater mosque with some big tittied mermaids to give praise to Allah. Yes, he runs into Sponge Bob rollin in a Bentley, bumpin the Isleys. Yes, the Pete Rock and J Dilla tracks kill. Yes, even that Ne-yo joint can be fucked with. No, he can't be imitated, that's why he's still bringing it. Dude is nuts and has tons of swag. He's basically my idol. End of Story.

Alright, quick singles check. Let's keep it rap related because that's how we're rolling today.

Trae-Swang

Speaking of rolling(Ed. note: Nice!), this shit hear is the new sittin sideways in my opinion, only this time the seat's are fully reclined.

Trap Squad- What's Happenin

This is Snap Music. It is blowing the fuck up. It is overwhelmingly ignorant. These dudes Trap Squad make D4L and Dem Franchise Boyz look like Oxford material. Fucking duuuuuuuumb. yet catchy? Shit has been playing in my head on loop status for the last two weeks and I think I've listened to it twice.

Ok, so as a counterpoint, this right here is probably what used to be considered "street" so feel free to get your compare and contrast on. Actually, you know what, don't. This is the genuine article. Just listen and smile.


Darondo-Let My People Go

Legs

A throwback of the "oh so necessary" variety, this is a re-issue (courtesy of Ubiquity) from one of the rawest, funkiest, and criminally overlooked soul brothers I've heard in a minute. Sounding like Bizarro Al Green (never a bad thing), this guy covers all the bases and comes correct almost everytime. "Legs" is probably thee most juiced-up ode to long stems ever belted (sorry ZZ Top...I said JUICED). I'm talking strutting music of the highest caliber here...the angle of the lean invoked is so acute that as soon as this thing hits, all you're gonna be seeing is the curvature of the Earth, and your clean ass pair of gators slapping the pavement...hard. Basically, it puts everything on tilt, just like it was meant to be.

Didn't I

And then on the very next song, "Didn't I", he goes and belts a lovesick ballad dripping with that kind of bittersweet longing that will jam your heart up instantly. It's one of those old school songs that will stop you dead in your tracks, forcing you to stare transfixed at the air in front of you, your mind running like an old projecter...creased photographs of "the girl", clutched in world-weary palms...eyes welling up with tears that belie his crooked smile as he pines over tattered pictures and fading memories...the quiver in his falsetto growing more apparent as these images, rife with unanswered questions, crack and slowly curl to dust...and then the remnants, withered pieces of yesterday softly sifting through his fingers before they are carried away in a breeze of flute and strings...

It's the type of song that always leaves that age old question lingering in my mind...What happened to love in music?