I scrub and I scrub but the dirt won't come off...

Time to jettison a heap of randomness ...shout out to whoever invented spring cleaning on this one.

Best essay ever written. Let's start this off right. So ballsy...did not hold back at all and still gets a D-.

Do you ever feel like you had a shitty childhood? Well, guess what...you were right!

I'm seriously (like SERIOUSLY ) considering building Sassafrass castle up in the woods and living there. Also peep the price tag on the Grand Victorian Manor...they already know that if you're fucking with THAT level of crazy than you best have some real uppity little kids all starched up and knickered out...and they better be rigidly skipping about with their minds solely on their 3 hour posture lesson from earlier that day...

Some one should tell those little robots, if you're gonna skip, you better fucking SKIP!

Or just bypass the whole skipping craze and go straight to the Air Cock Thrust. Careful though, champ...shit's not as easy as it looks...

Ok, now some YouTubage...


In the beginning...again, setting the tone.

Probably caught this one, if not, well today is your lucky day.

The State was pretty hilarious and groundbreaking for it's day...peep the ending...pure gold.

Turbo-Brrrrooooooom!!!

On a serious note, it's hard to gauge what's old news in internet world, what with the unlimited avenues and resources available, so timeliness is pretty relative. I'd even say their is probably a fairly linear inverse relationship between "Internet Knowledge"(X) and how much you "suck at life"(Y). I already know where I fall (Y=strawberry bubblebaths with some 80's Grover Washington in the background) so if I am boring you with my old news then, duder, I checked back on that new shotgun again...you know the one you wanted...the one that's supposed to explode the sun? Yeah, still early pre pre phase 1 testing. Sorry. However, in the meantime, by all means, feel free to take out the ol' double barrel and point that shit skyward and just unload it all...y'know, just...just let it all go. All of it. Screaming at the top of your lungs and desperately clawing at your eyes helps alot too. (Actually, now that I think about it any firearm will do just so long as you have neighbors...)

OK...so I've been getting kinda willy-nilly here...I don't actually read these things that other people do so I'm just testing different shit out. Getting a feel. But if you made it this far then seriously, congratulations. Here's the real best thing ever.

Yes. I know, I know. No words...you're welcome.